it's been a long time

nothing particular
it just seems that i never found a song that have a really good feeling about it
but in the end, it's just another anime song
so people start to think that i am a otaku

and i been doing a lot of thinking recently
this is why i didn't update the blog for a long time
because too much thing want to talk
but just didn't have the mood to put it
or rather, the courage to put it
(inner thought: and there are not much people reading this blog anyway)

so, ultimately
the conclusion I draw from all the thinking and stuffs is
people just work for money
and by using the money
people obtain the materialization joys to fulfil their goals and relieve the stresses
and most of all, the only motivation to keep them on, that's it
end of line
and of course
this apply to most people

anyway
the songs that i have good feeling are just these two
Yume wo Mita Ato de by Garnet Crow
Hoshi no Sumika by Aobozu

hope you enjoy, if there are people reading....

Seriously....Act 3

well, another week had passed
and i feel restless
not without reason
unpaid lab works
and the precious weekend are spent on the frustrating part time work

started to feel like i am complaining too much
but it can't be help
i doubt if everyone put into my situation will have the same feeling
then again
i don't know what to do after i graduate
well, its still got a long time to go
but i am the type of like to plans ahead
way too ahead...
people said this is good for chess
but i am unexpectedly not good at it
because this does not got anything to do with myself
or i should put in this way
it's insignificant to me

anyway
as the weeks goes by
the sunset are getting later and later
right now, it's 2243 at this point
but the sky doesn't seems too dark
i would say its around 2000 at m'sia
the day time is getting longer and longer
and because of this
the sunrise is around 0600
and because of this training
i had to wake up around 0730
but i wake up on 0630 to 0700
no matter how late i slept
weird
and i hate it

this is one of the reason why i getting restless
the other reason is the stress and tensions are building up
and i can't get enough entertainment

Tiger & Bunny

by the way, i downloaded some new anime at a whim
the first one is Tiger & Bunny
its an anime about a veteran superhero is forced to team up with a rookie
and their characteristics and views are completely opposite
and this is like a blend of japan animation with western style superheroes
kinda funny if you ask me <---personally
and i know some of the voice actor
Barnaby is voiced by the one who voiced Kurosaki Ichigo from Bleach
and the Blue Rose (not quite sure her real name) is voiced by Kotobuki Minato, the one who voiced Kotobuki Tsumugi from K-On! series....
wait, isn't both of the having the same pronunciation for their surname??? Kotobuki....lol

Kore wa Zombie desu ka?

then the second one is "Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?"
haven't watch the second episode yet
but the first episode already makes me laugh non-stop
especially the MC are forced to cross dress....XD
well, this one have a little genre of yaoi, something like that
so watch with discreet....lol

both of them are still on-going
so i can slowly enjoy them...XD

and can anyone name the artists in the following picture?
its a drawing of Miku from several artists
i pretty sure that this is fan made...
so far i can recognise the one who draw One Piece, Naruto, Dragon Ball and Detective Conan, and perhaps Slam Dunk

Seriously....Act 2

this is gonna like more serious post
and i just realized that I only become very serious in two things ONLY
Ganes, and working
other than that, well playful side of me

then, some people ought to know that i am this kind of things
for me
working like battlefield
no chance to breath if you want to survive
and definitely no slacking off
and i HATE people slacking off while working
then, some people just pretend they are "higher class"
so wouldn't receive any commands
while thinking they are important

people
if you think like this
then don't ever thinking want to helping me out
i got my own organising style
if you really want to help me out
listen to me
i am not giving orders
i am doing my works
if not helping
please stay back while letting other people do it

and i can't believe that some people never bother to ask
posing like I-am-higher-class-than-you-so-don't-give-me-damn-orders
and get angry at the moments
FCUK OFF!!!!
this pissed me off the most!!!!!!!!


started to feel like that I am one of the cheap labour
capable to working as full time
while get paid at a price of part time
maybe i should stop working for a while
and look for a better paid job...

Desperated

It seems that one of my friend keep updating his blog at a unusual high frequency
and i don't it's a good idea to ask him the reason why
since that the posts are more of like self-realisation and such
anyway
since that he is behaved like this
i guess i should keep up the pace as well....XD
kinda like i am desperate to compete with him to see who can post more...lol

anyway
when i having a chat with my colleague during working as part time (of course get paid!!)
i just realized that there are someone who may showing interest in me
this particular people is from the lab that i am working currently
well
when i pass through the corridor
i always sense somebody is looking at me
and i saw this people looking at me and smile
of course, as politeness
i smile back at him
yes, he, him, his, a guy....

well, maybe i just fantasying things
but when i waiting for my friend to fetch me back to chester during Friday
at the entrance of the lab
he asked me that do i have a ride back home
and it seems that he is offering to take me home
then i shocked for a few milliseconds
then i said i am waiting my friend
so i, with respect, rejected his offer

then again, maybe i just jumped to the conclusion
he might be just try to be nice to me
as co-worker, as friend...well, eventually
different department after all
i am at the water extraction
while he is in GC
and the guy came in to talk to my team leader about the samples i prepared
is the same guy
so, it might be that he like the samples that i prepared since that all of them are so accurate....XD

anyway
once again
a quote from a game
and this can be a great motto
"arrogance beckons doom" by Warrior of Light from Dissidia Duodecim
but it seems that i might be desperated to be loved.....even from a guy....OMG
0.o

disappointments

been waiting a week
but still haven't got any parcel for me
geez, i can't wait no more
ever since last friday
my new laptop
hasn't arrive yet
what's wrong with the delivery guys??? <---- first disappointment

anyway
the first week of the placement is concluded
but honestly
i didn't make any big mistakes that i can include in my reflective report <----the second one
or should i say
i been very careful and paid undivided attentions when i handling the sample
till a degree of null mistakes?
should i make some mistakes so that i can write them in the report?
set aside a little bit of clumsiness
just spill some solvents that's all
but what surprise me is my senior
apparently, she make more mistakes than i
did she did that all the time?
or she just dazzled by my handsomeness....lol

and i feel very delighted when the guy from GC department came in
he told my team leader than all the control samples i prepared in very good
so talk about the accuracies of the test samples
maybe be i should include the mistakes made by my senior in my report
and saying that i learn other people's mistakes and take cautions so the mistakes are not repeat again
for example
messing up the labelling
over evaporate the samples
water droplets in the samples
so on so on

not quite sure about the report
and i need to make another post at the uni's weblog to "show that i am working" to the WBL guys....
guess i'll just copy and paste these things to there...XD

first day of placement

well, some of the info are P&C
mostly are the info on customers
and the procedures and stuffs
well anyway
it's not gonna like nothing to share about
i still need to write a reflective report after the placement

as usual
after a late night working as part time
reach home, prepare some ingredient for lunch
then i went to sleep
but, i was unusually calm
well, i am neither nervous nor relaxed
just got no special feeling for that
luckily i got a ride from coursemate
then arrived there earlier than planned
then done a little bit of inductions
then move on to work

all i can say from this point is
i need to do some pipetting
transferring solvents, wait till the machines done their jobs
then send the test samples to other departments for further analysis
by the way
i am not doing any analysis in this placement
i just needed to prepare the samples, that's all
although there are i think is 4 or 5 different procedures
but i think the methods are more or less the same

and, i think there are much break
just right after i getting warmed up, and feeling working about it
here comes the first break
then, i feel like my flow are broken
then lunch break, then another break
frankly speaking
i didn't take the second break, and i returned to works earlier during lunch break
well, i did stopped for while during second break
just walks to another room and have a chat with people
this consider roughly a break

anyway, the process took a long time to complete
and the pipetting are putting my eyes, neck and arm tired...
still, i managed to develop a technique to extract the supernatant easily during the day
so it's not a completely a waste after all....

bah, that's that
want to rest a little bit more

Seriously...

this is kinda like a continue act from the previous two post
the one before the post "distracted"...

well, some of my friends said that i am just a "veg talk" people
this is a direct translate from Cantonese
it mean that i am someone that just talk big
without putting words into actions
then, when i tried to do something extraordinary
they said something different again
seriously, i never know what are the gals thinking about

then, they said save the money up
but the real problem is
as i mentioned before
the desire that supported me all along ways till now
is to buy a new laptop
and in my mind is
treat myself better = buy a new laptop
something like that

other than that
i have no other desire any more
so far in my life
i have three PC
the first one i have is a desktop window 98
then a laptop, relatively cheap, window vista
next is this current one
a netbook, window 7

right now
if i dont buy a laptop
i do not have any motivations to continue working any more
frankly speaking
i was thinking not going to work
but, in term of reducing family burden
and in term of friendship <--- when i working, i am thinking i am just helping out, that's it
i continued to work

well, before i came to uk
my parents keep reminded me that don't work any part time job
as fearing that this may reducing my academic performance
and when i got the first job
i didn't tell them till december
coz they asking why there are no withdrawing from the HSBC account that i opened at m'sia
they got the statements, so there is no way to lies
of course, they did scolded me for a while
but i think they gradually realised that this may be a chance that to grind my life experiences
so all they do next is tell me not to overworking myself

getting a little distracted
anyway, maybe i should shift my attention to a second target
Sony Ericsson Xperia Arc
maybe, is just a maybe <---want to emphasize this



suddenly i like this quote from Busou Renkin
 "if i protect everyone, who'll protect me?" by Mutou Kazuki

Distracted?!

Ahem
ever since the last post
and some hardships encountered
i am reconsidering the laptop i choose
the sony vaio which i customized it myself

but then, thanks to this hardship
i almost gave up hope of getting this laptop
then at the edge of despair
i looked for a new target
while try to contact with sony help center

well, i got good news from both sides
it seems that i can go to sony center to order my laptop
but the, when i search for a new laptop
i found another one
and Asus didn't let me down even i choose sony at the first place
Asus N53SV
a for more better laptop at just a little bit higher price
just compare the processer, RAM, HDD capacity, graphic card which i think this won over vaio
i7-2630
6GB DDR3
640GB
NVIDIA Geforce GT540M

all these worth the price
but still have a little bit financial problem
but i can wait
i waited for more than 5 months
i dont c are about a few more weeks

but i surprised that the research methods assignment took over my priority!!
nevertheless, the assignment is a history now
and mi life goes on again

by the way
"unite as one" by Yuna Ito nfrom WISH album
this particular song carve it's way into my list of "songs with memories"
no special reason or occasion
when i listen to this song
what i can remember is
the anxiety, nervous, hopes when i riding the plane which i came to uk
so....

this is a joke...by Cloud Strife

Aspiration

there are many to this word
in science, it's an act of inhaling
but of course
i am not having lectures in my blog
this aspiration here is mean a cherished desire

some times
when i try to reach down
deep into my heart
i am searching
what can i do
for my family
for my friends
for those i met in my life
thought we might parting for now
there is no telling we might meet again down the roads
or even our chosen own paths united as one
looking for the same goal <------poetic

ahem
well, seriously
i dont know why i choose this path
after struggling for these day
then, i realised something
all we do is just for one word
the root of all evil
the fuel for all ambition
......MONEY......
one say
"money is not everything, but without money, you are nothing"
never underestimate the words of elderly
they had more experiences then us, the rookies of this world

right now
i reached my goal
and for the first time
there is people try to stop me to complete the goal
reaching and completing the goal is two different things
reaching mean target reached
but completing is much more complicated
for example
air strike attack
target in range
but as long as you didn't launch the missiles
the goal never complete <-----got it?

that people say, think once more
but then
do this people know that what is supporting me to worked so hard
save so much

reduced so much
withstanding the bursts of my temper
holding back the tears
wipe off the sweats
and finally
i earn the hard-earn rewards
then, this particular people told don't do it

i know this is somehow for my own good
but, as this person said
treat myself properly
and
in my opinion
the only way to treat myself properly
is to complete the said goal

enough words
forgive and forget my selfish desire