What am I, crazy?!

To be honest, I still don't really like want to chat with my parents. The main reason is I am still really mad about them, and now, I don't think I am gonna have a nice conversation with them any time sooner.

In fact, I still don't think that I did make myself clear enough. I thought that since that they are my parents, they should be understand what I am talking about, or what am I implying via my expressions.

But still, I am contracting myself by thinking that, "oh, they are still human after all, so they can't really see what is it I want, or what am I talking about."

In fact, I realised that I am a very tough outside, but inside my heart, I am very sensitive, fragile. I just don't want them to worry about me too much, at least not now. But what I really want now is a somebody I can really rely on, and I don't think that I had that "someone" in here yet. And I do believe my friends, but they are way out of reach, and preparing their own future with their hand.

Now, I believe that I am repeating the mistakes I made, even though it doesn't hurt anybody, well, at least I am the only one who suffering from it. Just quoting some line I heard, "it is not that I don't want to open up, but I just afraid that people will talk behind me, and I afraid that I am very vulnerable after I open up."

Maybe my friend was right, I am a worrier. And in future, if I can't find someone to share about, I might need a shrink, sooner or later