another thought that i had...

it's not that i like to complain
but sometimes
the ideas for the new posts force their way into my mind
while i am working
besides managing, arranging and carrying out the tasks
don't get the wrong idea
i am doing time managing, arranging the sequences of the tasks while i am working

to be honest
i am thinking about the other things while i walking
and i enjoying this kind of walking-while-thinking
but i prefer the term "meditation" and "fantasizing"
i like to meditate/fantasize while walking
even though it's just a 5 seconds walk
i just want to keep my brain active that's all

back to the topic
i have some thoughts
but i rather say that i am comparing my current situation with my parents
for example, what would my parents do when they encounter this situation
the things that they gone through
the experiences that they gained while developing the their career
and i think i can fully understand why they scolded me for things
especially the things that i think it's correct while they thought to be wrong
and of course, the money issues....

and now i am think of it
the money i earning now are produced with my blood, my sweats, my tears
exaggerated a little bit
not with my real blood and tears
but the sweats are true...
by the way, this is the Chinese slang
so pay no attentions to that

looking back
i just took the money for granted
never really understand the hard-earned money from my parent
right now
i looking at my sweats, hidden moods and anger, light case of insomnia, 
cracked hands, dirty clothes, tired legs, nightmares (dreams about working)
the money i earned sure came with the hard way
and again, not that i like to complain
i started to feel like a cheap labour
working almost as much, as hard like a full-time worker
but just having a part-time wages
feeling like throwing so much of efforts for this part time job
and i worked three days per week for this so called "part-time" job

well, life experiences are coming from the grinding during young adult stage
so i trying to ignore these facts
just afraid that some times later
i might burst into tears/rages without reasons