i admit, that i don't really like surprise much
at least it is not a negative one, i am fine with it
but still, it is very hard to accept the pain of losing someone dear to you
there is not much people know this
only a handful of my friend knew that
well, i did try to follow the flow of tears
but still, i didn't done much crying, and mourning anyway
and i was thought that at least i can go home
but it seems that i still do not quite understand the reason they gave me
the reason of not going home
it is not them that can't convince me
but i do not think that the reason is good enough for me for not to go home
i still don't understand why
is this reason can convince you?
"she just want you to be succeed in your study, then come back."
does this implying that if i not doing well in my education
then i don't have to come home?!
frustrated, i still carrying on my life
gulp down all my tears and sorrows
but you see, i don't know how long could i hold them
until a point where they will exploded, flooded and stuffs
scientifically, i don't think her conscious remains in this world
maybe not in this dimension
spiritually, i hope her soul went to some place nicer
or maybe she already watch over me now at this moment
the border of life and death, is that really that close?
